It's a typical day in the life of a parent of a young child. In other words, things are as hectic as ever. Making school lunches, driving the kids to soccer practice, helping with homework, discussing the merits of wearing more than a single pair of pants all week, going to the DENTIST for a cleaning...*gulp*...this last one is often dreaded the most.
For a child there is nothing fun about sitting still for 30 (long) minutes while strange adults poke and prod your teeth. Parents feel like their child-rearing skills are directly reflected in their child's oral health. They half expect the dentist to look up at them after an exam with an accusatory stare making a "tsk, tsk" noise as they shake their head in disgust. Or, even worse, hear the dreaded word "cavity" cross the dentist's lips. What can possibly be worse than that?
Well, as it turns out, many things. But probably my greatest challenge concerning children's dental care is overcoming the psychological barriers instilled in the children (and parents, too). I understand life is busy, it's tough to deny your children the foods they like, and even if you do they are often savvy enough to find sugary foods anyway.
My philosophy is this: Parents who take their children to the dentist regularly are responsible, period. So - if there are dietary, oral hygiene, or cavity issues, it's not reflective of poor parenting but of education. A lot of people simply don't know what causes cavities and how to prevent them. But, the most important piece of education I can share is this:
If your child has a cavity, please remember the following statement and repeat it to yourself over and over...and over again if you begin to waver:
"It's not a big deal."
This mentality is the single most important thing between a trouble free dental appointment and one that ends in crying and frustration (and by that I mean frustrated children and crying parents). I treat most of the children at our practice and have noticed a definite pattern between an easy, efficient appointment for a child's filling or tooth extraction and one where a lot of "resistance" emerges.
Generally speaking, the bigger deal a parent makes out of the situation, the bigger deal a child will make out of it. Parents want to be there for their children, understandably, and in doing so they can unknowingly project their own anxiety about dentistry onto their children. As you know, children are remarkably perceptive. If they hear their parents speak in length about what's going to happen, they will see this appointment as "a big deal," which, as you may remember, is what we don't want. If the words "pain," "hurt," "sharp," or "drill" are used at any point, this appointment not only becomes "a big deal," it has the potential to become a catastrophe for everyone involved. So, please choose how you discuss what is going to happen VERY carefully.
It doesn't end there, though, because like I said, children are remarkably perceptive and actions speak louder than words, so please keep the following in mind:
- Not only do parents need to speak casually about their child's upcoming appointment, they need to treat it like a visit to the barber or physician's office.
- No rewards for good behavior should be discussed because then the child will believe what is about to happen is strange or difficult.
- Don't discuss your personal dental experiences unless they are absolutely positive.
Furthermore, don't even worry about not adequately preparing your child for the procedure...dentistry has come a long way since your were a kid. Nine times out of ten the pinch of the needle is the only discomfort a child feels in my chair. So if they don't think it's a big deal going in, they'll leave not thinking it's a big deal, won't be traumatized from the experience, will care more about their oral health, have great teeth, go to great schools, marry well, and be altogether successful. Incredible!
This brings me to my final point, which may be the most important. How YOU, as a parent act during the procedure plays a huge role in how well the procedure goes. As recommended by pediatric dentists and child psychology experts, when a child is about four years old he/she can be separated from his/her parents without much problem. While I realize that may sound too young, and a loving and concerned parent will often want to be there with their child during the procedure, think about the message that sends. When you stand by their sides, holding their hands, offering soothing words through the procedure you are sending the message that, you guessed it, this is a BIG DEAL.
Parents usually can't hide their apprehension, and if a child in the dental chair sees this, his/her anxiety skyrockets which, in turn, triggers the parent to become truly fearful and ask the child if "it hurts". Now, the child begins to panic because the concept of pain has entered the equation. Anxiety feeds off of fear which turns to panic in a destructive tangle of emotion. And while all this is going on, I'm trying to fill a cavity. As you can imagine, it can be tough. On the other end of the spectrum is the parent who either waits in the waiting room until the appointment is complete or is off to the side reading a magazine. For them this procedure is no big deal, the children consequently are at ease, and we're usually finished in about twenty minutes.
So what should you do? If your child needs a filling, don't panic. Remember the mantra. Treat this procedure like a walk in the park. Don't use words like, "pain," "hurt," or "drill." Instead, let them know the needle may "pinch" for a second. The dentist puts your tooth to "sleep" before he "cleans" or "fixes" the problem. Stay positive. Let your child know this makes him/her healthy, a big boy or girl, and above all else,
IS NO BIG DEAL!!!!!
-DRS
Northford Family Dental
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